Sometimes I just don't recognize Seattle any more.

Where the city was once quirky and trend-setting it's indolent and pretentious.

The people in power here once had a fearless, almost florid ingenuity. When the music started, they shook it to their own crazy beat and it all worked. Lately my city's movers and shakers have acted more like timid wallflowers; almost adamently average.

In another way, Seattle is like trailer trash that has suddenly come into money. The city leaders giddily spend millions on gold plate and rhinestones.

I don't know how the Seattle Convention and Visitors Bureau (a conglomeration of some 60 individuals and from the Mayor's office down to Joe Shop Owner) could have spent $200,000 and accepted a "destination brand position," (a pretentious phrase meaning "slogan") as utterly bloodless as "Metronatural". I cannot fathom their spending an additional $300,000 to market it.

From the CVB site:

"Say "metronatural" a few times and you will never forget it. Metronatural works by combining the two words that most eloquently define the experience of Seattle.

...Upon hearing it for the first time, people will quickly "define" the word for themselves, leading to a personal connection with the brand."

Does no one in the CVB remember the word "metrosexual"? Did no one at the local marketer responsible for this hideous moniker, Exclaim, recall the derision heaped upon that word during the last presidential election? Were they all perhaps still in college back then and thus too hung over to have paid attention?

You know, if you live in Seattle "metro" isn't eloquent. It's what our bus service is called. The phrase could truly be a plug for "natural" gas-powered busses.

"Metronatural" is as plastic as Seattle has become. It's a fake word for a fake city that's affecting the attitude of a "world-class metropolis" without possessing the soul of one. It's a grasping attempt to manufacture soul and meaning.

"Metronatural" is poserwankeral..