Dateline - Tokyo - Faced with the harrowing prospect of thousands of American children holding their breath, kicking and screaming, crying and possibly getting some exercise at last, Sony Corp. today announced that the Japanese government would step in to help ease a supply chain constriction that was keeping Sony's new video game console out of the chubby hands of American youth.

Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi announced on Thursday that the Japan Air Self Defence Force (Nihon Koku Jieitai) would make several of its C-130 J-class Hercules transport planes available to Sony Corp. for "a mission of mercy to the children of America".

Sony CEO Howard Stringer said that the electronics giant had hired "several high schools" worth of children to do nothing but pack the planes full of Sony's new video game console, the PS3. "We will not fail the children of America. We will not send boys and girls in Oswego and Tulsa to bed bored."

In addition to the abject boredom of thousands of children in cities as well as the heartland of America, a real economic impact would be felt if the PS3 was late in arriving in time for the after-Thanksgiving Day sales.

"We know for sure that WalMart would collapse without the PS3," economist Floyd Beemer said. "Other retailers would fall like a house of dominos. Chaos would ensue in the nation's economy."

Indeed, the prospect of a Retail Season without a white-hot item prompted the Federal Reserve to call an emergency meeting. Several WalMarts around the country were already preparing to go belly-up. In Ralston, North Carolina, the signs have already gone up.

President Bush, in a cermony granting the Japanese planes unrestricted access to American air space and support for mid-air refinancing, thanked Sony and Prime Minister Koizumi for "their obvious care for the children of American" and said he, "couldn't stand to sleep at night" knowing that some of America's children would, "go hungry with the old games".