I just finished watching the documentary DVD "Then There Were None" by Elizabeth Kapu‘uwailani Lindsey.

I didn't want to do it. Miss Significantly Other gifted the DVD to me and wanted to watch it so I had to. I could have predicted what would happen.

The documentary is about the decline of full-blood Hawai‘ians, told around a short version of Hawai‘i's history.

It's widely accepted that the population of Hawai‘ians in 1778 when Captain Cook "discovered" the "Sandwich Islands" was around 500,000. By 2044 it is predicted that there will not be a single full-blood Hawai‘ian left on the planet.

I read the small, inexpensive book that was adapted from the documentary so I knew what would happen at the end.

I've given up Hawai‘i. I haven't been to visit in two years. I'm not listening to the music any more. I'm staying away from the online newspapers. I'm keeping away from the Hawai‘ian haunts on the Interweb. I'm trying to keep off of the food. I'm staying away from the people I know who are from there. I'm through with Hawai‘i and for good reason.

At the end of 'Then There Were None", my heart broke.

That's why I've tried to stay away from it.

What began as a "touristy" interest and devleoped into a heat in my haloe blood has ended with a pain in my heart of hearts too many times now.

As the haole's rape her and the locals lap up her tears and the tourists, too drunk on "mai tais" to hear her screams, ignore her plight, I am left with bloody palms from clenching my hands into impotent fists.

To use another analogy, loving Hawai‘i is far too much like seeing a friend perish in a burning building. I can't help and I don't want to watch.

In the end, the ‘aina, the land, will reclaim its life. After the last Hawai‘ian passes to Tahiti (Kahiki) and after the last concrete hotel foundation crumbles into dust, there will be a new Hawai‘i very unlike the last. But the ‘aina will perpetuate its life through the simple righteousness of nature.

Just leave me out of it.

I'm going to go read about Schenectady, NY.