Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's not a Beatles chorus, it's guilty acknowledgement. I've been otherwise occupado and haven't posted anything in a week.

Bad Panzo!

I've been slightly caught up in EDC Forums and Candle Power Forums. The latter because I've been trying to get up to speed on the new LED flashlights, the better to choose a couple for work and home, and the former because I've been trying to get up to speed on what I might need to have along with me now that I'm a manly man.

In short, because I should be in the shower right now, I have a Fenix L2T set to arrive today and I'm in the process of making a utility keychain.

I visited Fisheries Supply, Inc. yesterday here in Seattle and got a couple of specialized clips for the keychain, a 15' remnant of 5/16" line (for $5!) and a Klutz book on knots.

I'm happy to say that, at 43 years old, I have finally learned how to tie a bowline, a clove hitch, two half-hitches slipped and a tautline knot. I get my Cub Scout rope badge on Thursday. Heh.

Anywho, I'm outta here. Be back later.

I like what Brent Budowsky writes, for the most part. Today, he nails it. This is the kind of stuff Panzo.org was supposed to be all about...

To Cable News: I Am the Father of Anna Nicole Smith's Child!

Tucker, Lou, Bill, the father of Anna's child was not the lawyer, the boyfriend or the Prince. It was me.

I will soon tell the entire story, once I have concluded negotiations for my book deal and the movie rights.

You have my word. It is a tale of romance, passion and intrigue that will provide front page news around the world.

I will be available for interviews starting Monday afternoon. The Today Show has booked me for their early segment, and once we set a time for Good Morning America, my agent will turn to the cables.

I will also be announcing that I have decided to enter the New Hampshire Democratic primary and will participate in the February debate. At that time I will announce my running mate, who will be an articulate man, who was not educated at a madrassa and does not have big ears.

Can't say who; Maureen has been promised the exclusive.

In the meantime, interested parties might read the Guardian, which discusses the advanced preparations for George W. Bush to order a preemptive first strike attack against Iran.

It's not as exciting as the Anna Nicole Smith story, but might be worth a quick read. Chou.

Category: What Do Women Want?

She wanted to look like a whore without the danger of being treated like one. Funny. If guys want to look like something they're not, they're called dorks and ignored.

By women.

In 100,000 volt shoes?

Electric Cinderella Shoes with built-in stun gun

She wanted to be empowered without losing her femininity, to have the freedom to be sexy without fear.

“I believe this type of capability is a dream of many women and it is my intention to bring it to market,” Simona told Gizmag.

An offshoot of the military/law enforcement/firefighter/ems/emergency preparedness sector of the world is the Every Day Carry bunch.

"EDC" is the stuff you have with you all of the time both because you use it a lot and/or because you might need to. EDC is everything from handguns to keychain-carried precision tweezers.

Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, whatever their various organizational nomenclatures, are to always "be prepared". Military and former military folks are trained to be that way. So are LEOs (law enforcement officers), EMS personnel and firefighters. Ditto emergency management personnel. Outdoor enthusiasts are sometimes educated the hard way to have the good stuff with them.

When I was a kid, boys carried a pocketknife everywhere. Girls wore clogs as force mulipliers added to their naturally superior foot aim to make a swift kick in the nuts a permanent defensive measure. But I digest.

I stopped carrying a pocketknife when I stopped hunting/fishing. I saw no real need to carry one here in the big city of Seattle.

Besides, sharp objects are frowned upon by the feministized male establishment here ("feministized" meaning not "feminine" but conditioned by bitchy broads to not even want a sharp shiny thing in your pocket due to your inherent and eventual and unavoidable desire to use it against a womyn).

As I've posted about though, my new job creates a need to carry some stuff with me.

I got a Fenix LT2 AA-powered flashlight because I needed something bright that wouldn't blow a bulb or fall down and not get up, to shine into the dark recesses of buildings built before World War I.

I got some Bison aluminum tubes for my eventual keychin EDC rig. Pills, hearing aide batteries, a match or two, small parts to things I'm working on, all fit nicely in these tubes.

Over time, I intend to buy/make a mini prybar, get a smaller "keychain" knife, buy another small light and a couple of other things to add to my EDC rig.

One of the more surprising things I've purchased is parachute cord. It's not surprising because it's rope, it's surprising because of what I want to learn to do with it.

Using "paracord" to weave lanyards and key fobs is a sub-offshoot of the EDC world. The weavings are both a decorative way to always have some cord with you (with a bit of work, the weaves will unravel) and a practical way to get a grip on your gear.

Near the very top in the paracord weaving world is this fellow: Stormdrane's Blog. You just have to go to his blog site and look at the outstanding craftsmanship he puts into the lanyards and fobs he creates.

Today was an adventure. I had my First Big Problem.

It seems that a law office on the third floor of one of our buildings had a leaky toilet tank in their Mens room. The night janitors saw it and decided that putting a note on the stall door was a great way to get the leak fixed.("The toilet has leak at the back. Can you please call BLDG Manage. They fix for you.")

At seven AM this morning, one of the attorneys found the leak and turned off the water shutoff.

Water had essentially been running into the top of the tank to fill it while running out of the bottom. For hours.

Water had run all over the floor in the bathroom, out the door and down the hall. It had pooled in the bathroom around the exit hole in the floor for what I believe is an old heating pipe. The seal around that pipe had gapped eons ago. The water had run through the gap into the phone closet of the tenant below, shorting out their phone system and killing their DSL connection. I've never seen connections in a telco punchdown block spark before.

Water had dripped on two runs of electrical conduit in that closet and streamed along them to wet the ceiling of two spaces outside of the closet.

And then the elevator broke down in another part of the building. This elevator serves one of the swankiest restaurants in town. It was thirty minutes before lunch time.

I ate breakfast at 12:30. I had my morning coffee at 2PM.

Right now, I need a cold shower and a hot beer.

But I love my co-engineer Kym. She came and helped with EVERYthing. From knowing who to call to running interference with the crabby office staff (in this instance, I don't blame them for being crabby but they're crabby all of the time anyway) to explaining how this and why that and giving me "I remembers...", she was an immeasurable help and is just a damn fine person.

And then the office manager in the lawyer's office where the leak occurred gave me a big plastic container of choco-chip cookies because it was her last day and she was giving out appreciation gifts.

On the container she had glued a heart with a note on it thanking me and Chief Engineer for always being professional and for always responding to her every request. She thanked us for "making a difference" in her "little corner of the world".

Today sucked and was really good.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Cheney Slams Iraq Plan Advocated by Dems

Vice President Dick Cheney on Wednesday harshly criticized Democrats' attempts to thwart President Bush's troop buildup in Iraq, saying their approach would "validate the al-Qaida strategy."

I was starting to wonder where the posterboy for the Democratic Majority was.

Considering that for nearly four years Dick and the Chickenhawks haven't had a single fucking clue as to what anyone's strategy is in Iraq, let alone al-Qaida's, I think it's time for him to shut the fuck up.

(I'm way to goddamned angry right now to even start to address the fact that the Vice Minister of Darkness is still clinging to al-Qaida when even my fucking cat knows that dozens of factions in Iraq - from the Sunnis to the Campfire Camels - has been killing American troops for the last four years! ARRGGGGH!)

As far as I'm concerned, there can be no stronger endorsement for the Democrat's Iraq plan than the continued bleating criticism from the chief architect of the problem.