Trial to start in Miami for alleged terror cell accused of plotting to destroy Sears Tower

"I want to fight some jihad."

Apparently without enough real meat on its plate, the FBI has taken to fomenting terrorism.

"Hey Bob. Got anything that would make the Bureau look good today?"

"Not really. We tried getting a grandmother from Oswego to steal some Geritol and take it Cuba but she left the bottle at the Piggly-Wiggly checkout counter."

"Geritol?"

"Aiding a terrorist regime."

"Ah! Beauty! Did she ever make it to Cuba? We can pump that one a bit, you know."

"Well, we got a little crossed up with that info there. Echelon returned an email about Cuba and her travel dates but it turns out that she was setting up a date with a friend to see Daddy Day Camp."

"Daddy Day Camp?"

"Cuba Gooding."

"Crap. Nothing else?

"Well we have these seven morons in Miami who have a gun and a couple of machetes. The leader, codenamed 'Moe Howard', has said he wants to fight some jihad."

"He said it? Just like that? 'I want to fight some jihad'?"

"Yeah. Kind of like that little dog used to say 'I want my Taco Bell'. What ever happened to that dog? The wife used to laugh and laugh at that thing."

"Well, let's go with jihad boy. Send over a couple of leeches and see if we can get them to chant "death to Bush" or something. And film it. The networks will run it for us."

"How about we get these bozos to pledge allegiance to al Qeada?"

"That would be great! See if they can say something bad about Miss America, too."

"All right."

"Let's roll!"