I peed in a coffee cup today.

The Ballard bridge got stuck on the upswing at around 1PM today and it hadn't been repaired by 3:10 when I approached it.

Let me break right here and complain about KOMO1000's lack of telling me that the bridge was stuck open. I heard the bit about the co-host's dog unplugging all of the lamps from the outlets when she hears thunder but I never heard about the bridge until after I was trapped in the traffic jam leading to it. BOO! HISS! BOO!

So I drank a tall drip coffee from Starbucks just before I left for what I thought was going to be my usual 15-minute drive home.

At about 30 minutes, I had to go.

At 45 minutes, I really had to go.

At 60 minutes, I unbuckled my belt and undid the button on my pants.

Finally, at 75 minutes and 50 blocks from home I did it.

I grabbed an empty Tall cup (I save them because coffee refills are only 55-cents), unzipped and sighed into the cup.

I'm sure that the guy on the bicycle who flashed by me got an eyeful (not of pee, silly) if he bothered looking over into my car.

I slipped the cup into a cup holder, re-zipped, capped the cup and reminded myself that, for the love of God, there wasn't any coffee in that cup.

By the time I made it home fifteen minutes later, I had to go really bad again. But not as bad as when I was in the car.

Thank goodness I'm not a girl. I'd have had to squat on the street and relieved the pressure.

In other things...

I didn't commemorate Joey Bishop's passing and I'm sorry about that. It's just so damn sad to me that the cool people are dying off and no one can take their place because of the fucked up way things are these days.

We replace Sinatra with Michael Buble. Christ. How sad is that?

Godspeed, Joey. You mensch.

I also didn't commemorate the passing of Deborah Kerr. She was a beautiful woman - another woman that haunted men's dreams.

The end of the best era in American entertainment is approaching like a fast freight train, folks. Most of The Great Ones are gone and as the Lesser Greats pass, it makes us realize how much support The Great Ones had from their less-popular but no less talented contemporaries.

Another broad could have rolled on the beach with Burt Lancaster but no other broad could have been Deborah Kerr.

Sinatra said of Joey Bishop that he was "the hub of the Great Wheel" of the Rat Pack. Sinatra was as famous for his gracious compliments as for his generous tips and great singing but I believe what he said about Bishop. He always struck me as being a guy who knew his place - on the stage or in real life - and, brother, if you don't have a hub the wheel don't go 'round and 'round.